It feels like ‘Love’ is a buzz word more than ever right now. Thankfully.
Which implies perhaps, there is a Love deficit, which we are trying to fill. Earlier this year at Shambala festival, the ‘CHOOSE LOVE,’ t-shirts peppered the crowd, friends returned from Burning Man declaring the abundance of Love and connection they felt on the playa and I noticed the unforgettable ‘Love’ sculpture by Robert Indiana sat outside Heart night club in Ibiza.
After 2 years studying the healing power of Love, I graduated feeling resistant to everything, I questioned if I was part of a bunch of spoilt self- obsessed individuals priviledged enough to pay for an environment of repetitive regurgitating in order to heal or transform patterns of pain and trauma.
I felt like I wanted to run as fast as I could from this ‘Love & Light’ brigade and decided I could not launch a coaching business with this sudden change in perception. So I didn’t. I put a stop to the website, I packed my bags and went travelling in an attempt to digest this confusion.
I started to explore other cultures, I listened to them speak about life.
I connected with the way Mexicans talk about themselves as spiritual souls having a human experience and their respect and connection for ‘Pacha Mamma’ which so many people are increasingly disconnected from.
I listened to Colombian musicians talk about how music healed and changed their nation and how they were determined not to be enslaved to a capitalist routine when they preferred to do something they loved and live with less money.
Despite years of bloody conflict, I witnessed the gentleness of Burmese, the land of Buddhist temples where the silence echoed through nature touching my heart.
Then experiencing the chaos and magic of India which threw so many beliefs, communities and ideals of living at me.
This education I received is so pertinent, so needed, and I have something of great value to share.
I have been incredibly fortunate to receive this education, which in simple terms, is about peeling back the layers, the protection that we build that conceals our true nature which is, Love.
That very stuff, that we think protects us, actually prevents us from the experience of Love and connection, within ourselves, with our fellow beings and to our spiritual source. It disconnects us.
So frequently we think of Love as something we receive from other people and something we will lose which in turn creates fear. Fear is actually the opposite to Love.
I see fear in the guise of ‘Not Enough.’ Not enough money, food, recognition, validation etc.
We are taught that we cannot Love one another, unless we first Love ourselves. My concern about this, is that Self-Love misunderstood becomes a selfish, narcisstic tool. I like how the Buddhist teachings stipulate first ask yourself, ‘what are you doing for others?’ and secondly to Love yourself. Some may disagree and say, first you need to take care of yourself, in order to be able to take care of others. I will leave you to ponder this…
I think in the capitalist society, we are working hard, striving to better our lives, our education, our social elevation, and in doing this, so often the very essence of our core values can be forgotten. The most important human values, is to be kind and loving. Which can feel virtually impossible in the dog- eat- dog world that we have created.
I think the most important thing is to slow the pace, appreciate the present moment, to learn about nature, to understand how to navigate and express emotions and to explore those existential questions, like what are we doing here? What is the purpose of our existence? Remembering we are humanBeings rather than humanDoings.
So maybe this Christmas pause and think, why am I choosing this? Is this my ego or is this my heart? Am I doing this, because I want to receive love and validation from outside of myself because I don’t feel enough? Am I doing something to ‘fit in’ to society? Am I giving from an unattached place or because I want to receive in return?
And since it is Christmas, there really is no place which sums up Love better than the Bible,
Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians, ch 13
And with that, I wish you a very Merry Christmas!
With Love, Tara xxx